The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
75%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Stowers, Stowers, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.