The Late Scratch Hex of Sam LaPorta
Sam LaPorta · DET · TE
“LaPorta's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins LaPorta's week
- LaPorta is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- LaPorta stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
82%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take LaPorta's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
FAQ
How do I curse Sam LaPorta in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Sam LaPorta is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Sam LaPorta actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.