The Late Scratch Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
86%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A single Patriots jersey, ironically worn
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.