The Phantom Flag Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Stowers gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
85%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.