The Garbage-Time Hex of Philadelphia Eagles
Philadelphia Eagles defense
“The Eagles defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Philadelphia Eagles defense's week
- The Eagles defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Eagles defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
82%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Eagles drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- DeVonta Smith
- Makai Lemon
- Dallas Goedert
- Eli Stowers
- Dontayvion Wicks
- Jake Elliott
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
FAQ
How do I curse Philadelphia Eagles defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Philadelphia Eagles defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Philadelphia Eagles defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.