The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Stowers lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
79%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.