The Garbage-Time Hex of Philadelphia Eagles
Philadelphia Eagles defense
“The Eagles defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Philadelphia Eagles defense's week
- The Eagles defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Eagles will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
72%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Eagles, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- DeVonta Smith
- Makai Lemon
- Dallas Goedert
- Eli Stowers
- Dontayvion Wicks
- Jake Elliott
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
FAQ
How do I curse Philadelphia Eagles defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Philadelphia Eagles defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Philadelphia Eagles defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.