The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
91%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Goedert's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.