The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Goedert's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
84%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Lions locker room
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Goedert, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.