The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
82%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single tear from a Cowboys fan
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Goedert's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.