The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Goedert gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
72%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.