The Blocking Assignment Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Goedert's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Goedert runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
91%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Ravens locker room
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goedert, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.