The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Goedert tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
86%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A used challenge flag
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.