The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goedert gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
73%POTENCY
-14.4PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Ravens jersey, ironically worn
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Eye of Panthers, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Goedert scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.