The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Goedert's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Goedert's stadium. Only over Goedert.
- Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
82%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A used challenge flag
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goedert drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
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- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.