The Phantom Flag Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Goedert runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
80%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A single tear from a Texans fan
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goedert drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.