The Invisible Route Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
81%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goedert drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.