The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goedert stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
90%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Rams locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goedert, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.