The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Goedert will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
87%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Rams locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.