The Mystery Tweak Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- The broadcast shows Goedert on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Goedert's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
78%POTENCY
-18.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.