The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goedert is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
80%POTENCY
-10.3PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Goedert, Goedert, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.