The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
- Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
90%POTENCY
-12.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goedert, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.