The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Goedert will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
88%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goedert, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.