The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
83%POTENCY
-9.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single Falcons jersey, ironically worn
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goedert drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.