The Hamstring Hex of Darren Waller
Darren Waller · CAR · TE
“Waller finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Waller's week
- Waller gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Georgia Tech's biggest rival.
- Waller will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
72%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Waller, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tetairoa McMillan
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Chuba Hubbard
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Darren Waller in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Darren Waller is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Darren Waller actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.