The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- The broadcast shows Stowers on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Stowers gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
73%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.