The Late Scratch Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
80%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single Texans jersey, ironically worn
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Stowers's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.