The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Stowers gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
90%POTENCY
-12.4PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.