The Snap Count Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
89%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.