The Snap Count Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
91%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A single Commanders jersey, ironically worn
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stowers drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.