The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
- Stowers is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
82%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stowers drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.