The Blocking Assignment Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Stowers's stadium. Only over Stowers.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
85%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Seahawks fan
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.