The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
74%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Chiefs locker room
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.