The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Stowers's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
84%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stowers drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.