The Invisible Route Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Stowers lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
88%POTENCY
-18.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.