The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
81%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Stowers's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.