The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- The broadcast shows Stowers on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
77%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Stowers's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.