The Invisible Route Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
92%POTENCY
-14.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Stowers's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.