The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
80%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stowers drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.