The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.
74%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Eye of Bengals, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Stowers scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.