The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
88%POTENCY
-14.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single Vikings jersey, ironically worn
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.