The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Stowers's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
77%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.