The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
- Stowers is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
76%POTENCY
-18.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A single Colts jersey, ironically worn
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Stowers, Stowers, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.