The Hamstring Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
84%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A used challenge flag
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.