The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
83%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Saints locker room
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Stowers, Stowers, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.