The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Stowers is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
73%POTENCY
-18.3PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Eye of Jets, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Stowers scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.