The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
77%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Stowers's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.