The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Stowers tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
85%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Raiders locker room
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Stowers, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.