The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- Stowers's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
74%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.