The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Ref: "Number Stowers, that's a flag." Stowers: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
85%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Stowers drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.